“The name that no human research can discover–/ but the cat himself knows, and will never confess./ When you notice a cat in profound meditation,/ the reason, I tell you, is always the same:/ his mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation/ of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:/ his ineffable effable/ effanineffable/ deep and inscrutable singular Name.”

— T.S. Eliot, “The Naming of Cats” from Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats

People always wonder what their pets think about. Write an internal dialogue from your pet. If you don’t have a pet, pick a friend or family member’s pet. Does your pet understand people-speak? Have they named you or themselves? How intelligent are they? Do they do something when you’re asleep or not at home? Perhaps they’re the leader of an anarchist-dog group, or they hold weekly fish-knitting clubs. Have fun! Go nuts!